Wednesday, June 16, 2010


Hello blogosphere! It's been a while. I've missed you!

In the last three months, I found as I was getting deeper and deeper in debt, that I could no longer afford Jenny Craig so I had to stop going. I have decided to go it alone. How have I been doing? Well...not so hot. I am back up to 217. Which means since starting this blog I have gained 10 lbs and now have 50 plus to lose.

SABOTAGE....It's a big ugly word that Webster's defines as an act or process tending to hamper or hurt, deliberate subversion. I don't know about you but I do it to myself ALL the time. After eating half a bag of cookies or half a carton of ice cream, I sit there thinking "You Idiot, what did you do that for? You know better!" "Okay, so next time I go to the store, I just won't buy that stuff." and then what do I do? I buy another bag of cookies. Seriously!!

Why do I do it? What am I so afraid of? Success?? Men/people looking at me?? What a terrible thing to be afraid of!  UGH....It's a lot to consider and it makes my brain hurt. I KNOW I can lose the weight. I've done it before. At my heaviest, I was 235, I lost 50 only to turn around and SABOTAGE myself and gain most of it back.

Well as I consider this and many other going vegetarian and giving up foods with nuts, I am sure I will continue to have good days and bad. I pray for the good and hope that the bad days don't continue to be the norm.

Blessings to all.