Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Humpty Dumpty & Negative Self Talk

I always start back dieting with good intentions. Then something happens and I hit the proverbial wall. I feel a little bit like Humpty Dumpty. Broken into a million pieces. Difference is I don't have the kings horse's and all the king's men to put me back together again.

I stepped on the scale yesterday. Almost everything that I had lost, I found. All but 4 pounds. I walked away from the scale calling my self a loser, a failure, stupid, gluttonous. FATSO. I can't even lose weight right. Big dummy. An on and on it went.  

I got to work, got busy and tried to put the disaster from the scale out of my mind. I was still upset with myself and had to take a break. A potty break. As I was sitting on the throne, I had a little conversation with God. Dear Jesus, I need your help. I can't do this alone. Please give me the desire, strength, courage, and wisdom to shed this weight. Not only the pounds, but the weight of my negative attitude and self talk. The hymn Fill My Cup, Lord started playing in my mind.

Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up Lord
Come and Quench this thirsting of my soul
Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

I felt immediate peace. I'm claiming Your promise Jesus. Please fill my cup with your blessings. Quench my thirsty soul with your love and knowledge of you. Feed me from your word Lord. Fill me up and make me whole.

I know that God loves me and will help me with this. He will never leave me to deal with this on my own. I will stumble again, but God will give me the strength to get back up and start all over again.

I do need to change my weigh (pun intended) of thinking and He can and will help me. Loving myself isn't going to happen over night and neither is losing all this weight. Good thing He loves me enough for the both of us.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I may not have all of the King's Horse's and All of the King's men to put me together again. I have someone better. I have the KING!


Sunday, October 30, 2016

Accountability & Isagenix

My friend Kasey had been on the program for a month or two and had tremendous luck with weight loss and decided to share her journey with me. After hemming and hawing for a few weeks I jumped in with both feet. September 17, 2015 marked the start of my journey.

September 11, 2015 Shirt Size 3X, Neck 18 inches

275 pounds, 434.5 inches total

Very, very unhappy. Definitely not healthy.

Jan 30, 2016 2X shirt. Down 27 lbs. and 32 inches YEAH ME!!!

I did great for about 6 months on the program. I had lost around 30 pounds and 35 inches. Then vacation happened. I fell off of the wagon (yet again), and have had a hard time getting back on track. One would think that I would learn my lesson. My addiction to sugar has gotten out of hand. I did my weigh and measure today and... well, lets just say its not pretty.


I have gained back 13.9 pounds and added 19 inches back onto my already large frame. Those pounds and inches represent my bad decisions. Time that I can't get back. Time that I could have used to lose additional weight. I could be so much closer to my goal of 110 pounds lost.




The following pics were taken today. I am posting all of this for accountability and with the hope that I can help or inspire someone else out there. Please excuse the dirty hair and lack of make-up.


258.7 pounds

*417.25 inches

Stuck between a 2X and a 3X

38.2 BMI

40% Fat

Disappointed in myself.

Final Thought.. Winner's never quit. Quitter's never win. I'm not a quitter. I may be a slow learner, but I AM NOT A QUITTER!

*Measurements taken were neck, chest, diaphragm, upper arms, waist, fullest part of my abdomen and derriere, upper thighs, calf muscles, and upper knees.


I originally posted this on my other blog titled I am a Work in Progress, but now I can't figure out how to get back into that one to post to it... I really need some IT skills.. lol

Mom: "Algebra? Why did you buy an Algebra book?"

Good question Mom.

My Reply: "TV sucks and is turning my mind to mush. I want to challenge myself and see if I can still do it. I want to. I really want to." And I do!

After being out of school for a lot of years, I decided that I wanted to tackle the subject that gave me major anxiety in High School. I went to an ACE (Accelerated Christian Education) school where thankfully I was able to work at my own pace. It took me 2 years to get through one year of HS Algebra. I'm pretty sure I would have failed algebra if I had gone to public. It's not that I'm stupid, It just never made sense to me why they would mix numbers up with letters and expect me to find out what X was? And why would they force me to learn it when I was pretty sure I would never use it in my adult life. I put up a HUGE mental road block. I didn't care and I didn't want to learn.

Thankfully, I had a wonderful and patient teacher in HS. I will never know how she was so patient with me. Anything that I remember about algebra is all thanks to her. Algebra was a lot easier when I was in college because I had a good foundation in HS. Thank you Mrs. Melrose!

So here I am at 43 years old doing Algebra, still wondering why they had to place numbers and letters together and will I ever use it when I grow up. I also don't remember fractions being such a pain in my backside. So much to learn again.

But it's all good. I'm looking at it as a puzzle. A very slow puzzle, but one I want to complete. One I choose to complete and that makes all the difference to me.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

New Year...

Happy New Year Everyone.

January 1st started a new year and a new resolve to lose weight. I have topped the scale now at 271. I feel horrible. No energy, muscle pain, generally feel like a slug. Mom looked at my feet which have a bunch of freckles on them. She had someone tell her that that is a sign of neuropathy. GREAT. That's all I need. My mom has the same issue with her feet and I have a cousin with neuropathy in his feet... so it's a great possibility.

I don't do resolutions. I think those are a waste of time. They are usually broken by the 3rd of January. I have failed every time I have set resolutions. "I'm gonna work out everyday, I'm going to give up pop, I'm going to eat nothing but veggies and protein"... yada yada yada... all usually broken as quickly as they are made.

My cousin Mindy has been telling me about Plexus products and how they are made of natural ingredients and have helped her lose weight. She went from a size 9 to a 2 and loves them. So end of December I decided to join the Plexus team and to use & sell the products. Mom & I started using them on the 1st. Mom and I took our measurements and weight and I will be tracking them. So far, she has lost 5 lbs. I haven't lost weight, but I have definitely lost inches. I am craving less sugar (I've only had two pops in the last 10 days!!) I'm excited to see where this journey takes me.

I will be posting before, during, and after pictures. If you are interested in checking out Plexus for yourself, check out www.lesliezimmerman.myplexusproducts.com. Let's lick this obesity problem together!


Thursday, December 26, 2013

I'm Really Good...

At gaining weight. I'm actually kind of a pro. In fact, I'm so good at it, I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Don't look to me for answers on losing weight. I can't help you there. You want to gain? I'm your girl. All 271 pounds of me.

Yesterday was Christmas. Turkey dinner (delish... thank you to my cousin Danielle for dinner) topped off with lots of fudge and pumpkin pie. After dinner we went out to my other cousins, John and Christine. They got me this really pretty red blouse. The collar has black beading on it. Very pretty. I pulled it out of the bag and it was a 3X. "Oh my... I don't think it'll fit. If it doesn't, I'll take it back and trade it in for a 2X." Got home, tried it on.. guess what...

...the 3X fit.
A little too well.
This is no longer a matter of wanting to lose weight. I have to. My health is at risk. Please pray for me that I have the courage to do this.
(Notes to self)...
Red Shirt 3X
Gray Pants 20W (Did I mention that they're floods?!)
Weight 271
Measurements - too depressing to think about. Will have Mom take those later.
The date on the camera is incorrect.. it's actually 12/26/13.

Merry Christmas Everyone... May God richly bless you with health and love. And let us not forget the reason for the season. Jesus. He loves you so much, that He came to this world to be an example to us. To teach us.. to die for us. He paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we may have the ultimate reward. Eternal life with Him.

Blessings and a piece of oohy goooey fudge,
Leslie :)

Update 1/12/14... We did our measurements. Chest, hips, thighs, arms, and waist... total measurements were 218.50. **sigh**

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's that time of year again. The holiday season is upon us. Turkey (or ham if you prefer) and all of the fixings. Time spent with family. Shopping for Christmas presents. STRESSFUL! But before all of the shopping, and football, and the meal you spend all day preparing, it is a day of thanksgiving. A time to be thankful.

This year I am thankful for my mother. Thankful for all of her love, guidance, and the time that I get to spend with her. Thank you MOM! I may be a brat sometimes, but I value our time together. Hope you feel better soon.

I am thankful for my sisters (my brothers too) but mostly for my sisters. Candi, Shannon, and Bonnie. I love you all. I appreciate everything you have done for me! You all mean the world to me. XOXO

I am thankful for my nieces and nephews and all the greats. You all have brought a lot of joy to my life. Friendship too. I love and miss you all and our time together. My angel girl Aryn gets a special mention because she has a super special place in my heart. Aunt Leslie loves you Angel Girl!

I am thankful for my church families. Livingston (MI) and Huntsville (TX). Livingston, you all made it possible for me to open up and be comfortable with you and to allow you into my life. Trust does not come easy for me. I will cherish the friendships I made there. I have the picture you all made me at my going away dinner hanging on my bedroom wall and the box of mementos sits on my desk. Huntsville, even though we are small in number, we are BIG in love and caring. Y'all ROCK and I am thankful for you too. Especially my buddy Stephnie! Love you girlie!

I am thankful for my cousins. Wynn, You were my first friend (well... next to Sheila) but you and I got to torment each other more often. John and Christine, I appreciate you too! Thank you so much for helping me and mom out when needed. You guys have hearts of gold.

I'm also thankful for my friends (new and old). Sheila, Beth & Heather, I miss you guys! Wish Michigan wasn't so far away!

I'm thankful and truly blessed beyond measure. God has been so good to me. I hope that you all have a blessed and happy holiday season and that you get to spend it with the ones that mean the most to you.


Sunday, October 20, 2013


I got this delicious recipe off of Facebook. I do not like cooked cabbage, but this was so yummy, I just had to share. I hope you like it as much as me and my Mom did.


In a VERY large skillet, using Medium heat add the olive oil, ground beef, onion, garlic and dried spices. Once the beef is browned, add the tomatoes, tomato sauce, and cabbage. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer until cabbage is thoroughly cooked. Salt and pepper to taste. Serves 4-6.

Ground Beef  - 93% Lean, 7% Fat, 16 oz.949            
Oil Olive, 1 tablespoon119            
Onion 1 cup68            
Minced Garlic  tbsp. 4            
Oregano, dried, 1 tsp., ground6            
Italian Seasoning, 1 teaspoon0            
Tomato Sauce 15 oz. (425g), 1 container (1 4/5 cups ea.)140            
Tomatoes - Diced, 2 containers (1 4/5 cups ea.)210            
Per Serving:      374 

Friday, October 18, 2013

Just Some Food for Thought...

“The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” ~Al Neuharth

“Little by little does the trick.” ~Aesop

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” ~Dorothy Bernard

All quotes were taken off of www.fitnessforweightloss.com.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I wrote and published this blog post on my Word Press blog. This is a good reminder to myself that I have to let go of my fears.


What am I afraid of?

“The key to change… is to let go of fear.” ~Roseanne Cash

Fear is a great motivator, but it can also keep you from achieving your dreams. My aunt said something to me last week that well frankly, it pissed me off. She said that “When you were a child, you were afraid of your own shadow. The slightest little thing intimidated you”. Pissed as I was, I sat and stewed on it for a while. I determined that she was partly right. Only partly. My shadow only intimidates me when it’s skinnier than I am and is having a better hair day than me.
I was a shy child and would hide behind my mothers skirt at church. Thankfully I outgrew that. I had friends. My cousin Wynn and my friend Sheila were two of my first friends. Even though I have a huge family, I didn’t have a wide social circle. I went to a small private Christian school, where Tina and later Jackie became two of my besties. Yes there were kids that intimidated me, but they were mean. My limited social circle didn’t really improve until I got out into the real world and started working.
As an adult, I joined a church in Michigan and it took several years for me to let people in. I was afraid that they would see I wasn’t a very good Christian. They were all so smart and well versed in the Bible and I was intimidated. Once I allowed myself to open up to them, I was blessed. They took me in, loved me, and made me feel secure enough to be myself… and you know what, they loved me and my sarcastic self anyway!

“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.” ~Bill Cosby

Am I ready to take on the challenges that I will face to accomplish my goals? One of my goals is to lose 100 lbs. Another is to take a sewing class and a class at my gym. I stepped on the scale this morning, had my mother take my measurements, and have tracked my food intake. Good first steps towards losing the 100 pounds I need to lose. Now that I’ve taken the first steps, I need to take the second, then the third and so on and so forth. The more steps taken (even if they are baby steps), the shorter the distance to my goal. Will I let fear/anxiety get in my way again? Probably. But this time I determined not to let it keep me down. It needs to be my motivator, I will not let it hold me captive.

“To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.” ~Bertrand Russell

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Hello again!

Well, Weight Watchers and I lasted for about 3 months. I logged my food everyday for about a month, then got so bored with it. I started only logging breakfast and lunch. Then I would skip days. Then a week. I couldn't afford the program. When you live paycheck to paycheck, spending an extra $40-50 bucks a month on a program you don't use to its utmost is a waste of money. It's a great program, it's just not for me, not at this time. Unfortunately, this means the gym membership has to go too.

Apple Cider Vinegar...I have decided to try drinking ACV. In water, it's horrid. The first time I used 2 tsp. of ACV I gagged!! I got 2 sips in me. The next time, I used 1 tsp. of ACV with 1 tsp. of Agave nectar. Still horrid. About the only way I can drink it is in Apple juice. The information I pulled off the internet stated that if you drink ACV, which in liquid form is the most effective, it will help flush your system, aid in digestion, clear up skin issues, curb cravings, and regulate your metabolism. Its also really good for heartburn. I have only drank it in apple juice the one time. I know it's not going to taste good, but at least in apple juice I am able to drink it. Several issues I'm hoping it will help me with - frequent heart burn, my rosacea, and I need to lose weight. I know its not a miracle cure and don't look for it to be, but maybe it will help with my sugar cravings. If I can't do the liquid, then I will try it in pill form.

Zumba. OH MY WORD... ZUMBA. IS. SO. FREAKING. HARD. I bought the DVD's so that I can do them at home. I have two left feet and no rhythm. It's like my brain has a shut off switch when it comes to dancing.

The thing with weight loss is that you really have to want it, be totally dedicated to it. It's not easy. It's a lifestyle change. You have to be willing and able to make the change. I'm going to keep trying and struggling until I figure out what works for me.

Until next time,