Humpty Dumpty & Negative Self Talk

I always start back dieting with good intentions. Then something happens and I hit the proverbial wall. I feel a little bit like Humpty Dumpty. Broken into a million pieces. Difference is I don't have the kings horse's and all the king's men to put me back together again.

I stepped on the scale yesterday. Almost everything that I had lost, I found. All but 4 pounds. I walked away from the scale calling my self a loser, a failure, stupid, gluttonous. FATSO. I can't even lose weight right. Big dummy. An on and on it went.  

I got to work, got busy and tried to put the disaster from the scale out of my mind. I was still upset with myself and had to take a break. A potty break. As I was sitting on the throne, I had a little conversation with God. Dear Jesus, I need your help. I can't do this alone. Please give me the desire, strength, courage, and wisdom to shed this weight. Not only the pounds, but the weight of my negative attitude and self talk. The hymn Fill My Cup, Lord started playing in my mind.

Fill my cup, Lord. I lift it up Lord

Come and Quench this thirsting of my soul

Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more

Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

I felt immediate peace. I'm claiming Your promise Jesus. Please fill my cup with your blessings. Quench my thirsty soul with your love and knowledge of you. Feed me from your word Lord. Fill me up and make me whole.

I know that God loves me and will help me with this. He will never leave me to deal with this on my own. I will stumble again, but God will give me the strength to get back up and start all over again.

I do need to change my weigh (pun intended) of thinking and He can and will help me. Loving myself isn't going to happen over night and neither is losing all this weight. Good thing He loves me enough for the both of us.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I may not have all of the King's Horse's and All of the King's men to put me together again. I have someone better. I have the KING!

Blessings.

Leslie

A Pity Party for One.

I have no words, only shame. This is what greeted me this morning when I stepped on the scale after several months of eating and drinking whatever I could get my hands on. I truly don't know WHY I do this to myself. I am so uncomfortable in my clothes. I have always been uncomfortable in my own skin.

I do so well, lose 20 pounds and then lose focus. I celebrate my 20 pound loss with food, pop (or soda if you prefer), chocolate, cake, candy, ice cream. I stop exercising. I end up feeling like crap. I look like crap. My skin is terrible. My outlook is horrendous, a part of me just doesn't care. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it.

How BIG do I have to get, before I take my weight loss, my health seriously? 250? 300? I look at pictures of people who have lost 90. 100, 150 pounds and think WOW! HOW did they do THAT!! Lots of hard work and determination. Something I apparently am allergic to when it comes to weight loss.

So once again I will pull myself up by my bootstraps, put on my now "REALLY BIG" big girl panties, and get at it once again. It's time for the pity party to end.
My promise to myself... Today, I will do better than yesterday. Tomorrow I will do better than today. I have too. No ifs, ands, or BUTTS!