I have no words, only shame. This is what greeted me this morning when I stepped on the scale after several months of eating and drinking whatever I could get my hands on. I truly don't know WHY I do this to myself. I am so uncomfortable in my clothes. I have always been uncomfortable in my own skin.
I do so well, lose 20 pounds and then lose focus. I celebrate my 20 pound loss with food, pop (or soda if you prefer), chocolate, cake, candy, ice cream. I stop exercising. I end up feeling like crap. I look like crap. My skin is terrible. My outlook is horrendous, a part of me just doesn't care. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it.
How BIG do I have to get, before I take my weight loss, my health seriously? 250? 300? I look at pictures of people who have lost 90. 100, 150 pounds and think WOW! HOW did they do THAT!! Lots of hard work and determination. Something I apparently am allergic to when it comes to weight loss.
So once again I will pull myself up by my bootstraps, put on my now "REALLY BIG" big girl panties, and get at it once again. It's time for the pity party to end.
My promise to myself... Today, I will do better than yesterday. Tomorrow I will do better than today. I have too. No ifs, ands, or BUTTS!
Baby Girl, first can I say that the pity party will produce nothing but more bad feelings. I am going to suggest something that worked for me and others that I know about. Go out and get yourself a really cute outfit in the size you ultimately want to be. Your final goal weight size. Hand it in your KITCHEN and leave it there.
ReplyDeleteIt is so motivating to see it everyday all day long and sneaking a snack isn't quite so much fun when you know that is one more day that outfit won't fit.
You know that a million people love you but I just want YOU to love you.
You can do this thing and I know you will, when you decide it is what you REALLY want.
Thanks Jo. In spite of the rough start to my day, I actually had a really good day. I didn't let it get me down. To be honest, 239 was better than I thought it was going to be. I'm just disappointed in myself. I have traveled this road over and over in the last 15 years. I guess I'm just tired, and this is just one more speed bump!
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