Sunday, October 10, 2010
Well it's October all ready. Summer has ended and fall has encroached and I find myself heavier (about 20 - 25 pounds heavier) than when I started this blog. So much for a weight loss journey...you want to know how to gain weight then I'm your girl! The secret is lots of couch time, junk food, and very liftle if any exercise. As I sit here writing this there are about 10 empty caramel apple kiss wrappers on the table. My former fat clothes have become my former "skinny" clothes. What's really depressing is that I am almost back to my heaviest weight.
So where do I go from here? Well, those in the know say that you are supposed to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move along. That you don't beat yourself up for your mistakes, just try and do better going forward. So I will put my bag of kisses back in the fridge, get off the PC, and get to cleaning my house. Who knows, maybe I will even cook something remotely healthy.
Please pray for me that I regain motivation to once again tackle my weight/food/exercise issues and for me to live a fuller happier life. I pray the same for you!
God's abundant blessings,
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
In the last three months, I found as I was getting deeper and deeper in debt, that I could no longer afford Jenny Craig so I had to stop going. I have decided to go it alone. How have I been doing? Well...not so hot. I am back up to 217. Which means since starting this blog I have gained 10 lbs and now have 50 plus to lose.
SABOTAGE....It's a big ugly word that Webster's defines as an act or process tending to hamper or hurt, deliberate subversion. I don't know about you but I do it to myself ALL the time. After eating half a bag of cookies or half a carton of ice cream, I sit there thinking "You Idiot, what did you do that for? You know better!" "Okay, so next time I go to the store, I just won't buy that stuff." and then what do I do? I buy another bag of cookies. Seriously!!
Why do I do it? What am I so afraid of? Success?? Men/people looking at me?? What a terrible thing to be afraid of! UGH....It's a lot to consider and it makes my brain hurt. I KNOW I can lose the weight. I've done it before. At my heaviest, I was 235, I lost 50 only to turn around and SABOTAGE myself and gain most of it back.
Well as I consider this and many other things...like going vegetarian and giving up foods with nuts, I am sure I will continue to have good days and bad. I pray for the good and hope that the bad days don't continue to be the norm.
Blessings to all.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I met with Natalie yesterday. I am on a maintenance plan now. If I'm having an off day, I can have up to 2000 calories a day to maintain my weight, and 1500 to lose weight. Since the food is pricey, I am going to prepare my own foods and track what I am eating. I am still going to go to my consultations so Natalie can help me keep on track. I need to learn the difference between starches and proteins how to count them, also how to figure out how many calories are in foods. I am feeling good with this plan, but overwhelmed with how much I still have to learn.
May God's blessings be richly bestowed,
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
This past week I decided to try and do more vegetarian fare on my own. How many fat Vegan's do you know??? I made a banana bread that was wonderful. I know BB is high in fat and calories but I substituted ground flax seed for the eggs and apple sauce for the oil. It was better than I thought it was going to be. Last night, I cut up a ton of fruits and veggies, made potato soup and I'm even thinking of starting to juice again.
The weather the past couple of weeks has been beautiful. In the 60's. So beautiful that I have been taking walks on my lunch hour. My phone has a music player and head phones and I walk around the office complex singing my fool head off. Thank goodness the windows don't open and others can't hear me singing!! Ears would bleed.
I know that whatever I decide, I can count on my friends and family to support me in my efforts to lose weight. I am so thankful to have such a good support system. Now if I could just keep the chocolate from jumping in my shopping cart...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
To see the running plan I am following go to http://www.fromcouchto5k.com/.
My goals for this coming week are to determine why I sabotage myself. What is it I am afraid of? Why am I afraid of success? Why am I hiding behind the fat???
Weigh-in is tonight. Wish me luck!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My computer is down, so I'm doing this at work and I only have a few minutes left of my lunch hour and I still have to eat.
May God richly bless each and everyone of us. I hope that you all have a wonderful Valentines weekend.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tonight was my weekly weigh-in. I lost 2.2 pounds this week. I am so proud of myself. You should have seen me. Practically walking on air. I ran out to the lobby and threw my two glass pebbles (one for each pound) into the jar. "clink! clink!" I love that sound.
This past week was a tough week. I worked a ton of hours and got very little exercise. What helped me out was following my meal plan. I ate very well, lots of salad, fresh fruit, AND yes there were even a couple of days when I drank ALL 64 ounces of water. I drank, and drank, and drank... and peed, and peed, and peed some more.
What will my motivation be for the coming week? My motivation is to see another loss on the scale next week. Looking better and feeling better are great motivators. Jeans getting to be too big...AWESOME motivator. I need to remember my future goals and to remember how I felt when I was at my heaviest.
At 235, I was sad, had a horrible self image and I got winded walking up the stairs. I didn't want to go anywhere, see anyone, or even look in the mirror. My knees hurt. It was hard to find clothing that didn't look like a blind clown designed it for an 80 yr old. Question: Why is it the bigger you are, the gaudier the print??? As if we don't all ready feel like we stick out like a sore thumb, they gotta stick us in prints you can see from outter space. Yeesh!
So to finish up for tonight, I would like to leave you with a quote from Stuart Smalley (of all people)...
You're good enough,
You're smart enough,
And doggone it
People really like you!
- Saturday Night Live
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Have you ever felt like you had the devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel sitting on the other?
So I gave the Devil a flick and knocked his pointy ass off my shoulder.
Then it was off to lunch with my buddy Carol. We went to this place called The Farm Grill. They serve Mediterranean cuisine and it is delicious and healthy. (We go there so often, the waiter knows what we want before we place the order!) So I ordered my Falafel sandwich, small mixed green salad with dressing on the side and WATER! See, the tough part of going out to lunch or dinner for me is not getting a pop. I love pop, no make that I LOVE POP! However I settled for water... and I was satisfied. Whodathunkit??
Some things I have noticed over the last few days:
1. That drinking water has cut down my cravings. I am fuller longer, and my face is clearing up. Unfortunately I'm also peeing 80 times a day.
2. That it's important to praise myself! I beat myself up when I have a bad day so why not praise myself when I have a win. YEAH ME! I resisted temptation twice yesterday and won AND it didn't kill me. Good job Leslie! I'm so proud of you!
3. This is a one day at a time, one minute at a time, one moment at a time journey. The decisions I make today, affect the scale tomorrow. Might as well make it a good day, a good minute, a good moment.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I ate really well this week and the last two days I have drank sooo much water that my eyeballs are floating. Literally ;-p Good news though: I'm not craving the chocolate as much.
Natalie and I decided to basically start all over from the beginning. We discussed concentrating on getting the food under control. Planning menus and keeping track of everything eaten...ZZZzzz I know, but I have to do it. The key to my weight loss is going to be seeing what I have done. What was good, where I went wrong and improving on that. Next step will be working on body and mind. Working out and figuring out WHY I eat the way I do. Gonna be a long journey!
The reason I decided to lose the weight in the first place was because I don't want to travel down the same road my parents did. My father passed away in July from congestive heart failure and my mom has had heart and cancer issues. My dad's heart issues could have been reversed when he was first diagnosed. All they wanted him to do was eat better and get some exercise. Our health is way too important and life is too short as it is. I miss my Dad. 74 was too young.
My goals for this week are to continue with my water consumption (I'm at 80 oz for today!!), to keep track of my steps and increase my activity everyday. My affirmation for the week is "I deserve to be healthy AND happy!" and I do! I so do. AND SO DO YOU!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My goals for tomorrow are to meet my water consumption goal of 48 oz. (baby steps) and to get 5000 steps (2.5 miles) in.
My long-term goals are to start jogging and to run a 5K. I also hope to battle my depression and anxiety the healthy way, through diet and exercise - without medication.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
In May of last year, feeling hopeless and fat, I decided to join Jenny Craig. NO, no, no, I assure you this is not an advertisement for Jenny Craig, although their food is wonderful and having a consultant to help me through my stumbles and praise me for my wins is a tremendous help. Natalie Rocks! As Natalie says, "I'm gonna rock the JC!!" and I sure hope she's right. So how am I doing since I joined JC? Well, I have lost a grand total of - brace yourself - 10 pounds. See I told you this was not an advertisement!
Today, I am re-booting myself and rededicating myself to my weight loss. I'm going to stick with Jenny. I went in for my weigh-in tonight and the dreaded 211.2 showed up on the scale. I asked Natalie to take my measurements. 47-42-47. (YIKES!!) I am beyond mortified to post this, but I am taking a page out of The Biggest Loser handbook. They made the contestants weigh in in front of their friends and family. I am hoping that by doing this, it will help to motivate me. Maybe I will inspire you! I thank you in advance for all of your love and support.
Motivation, now that I have to work on. What will be my motivation? Better health? Smaller clothes? Get rid of my spare tire? YES. YES. YES. Snag me a man? OH HECK YA!! LOL. Being happy in my own skin? Most definitely YES!
I will be posting pictures of my progress throughout. Don't worry, unlike the contestants on The Biggest Loser, I promise you won't have to look at me wearing a sports bra and bike shorts. Bleecchh!
My ultimate goal is to reach 160 and train for a 5K. I hope to post about my ups and downs, my weight loss :) or God forbid, my weight gain :( and if I run across some yummy recipes along the way, I'll post them too.
Psalms 139:14 I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
God Bless You!