Texas has been really hard on my diet. Maybe its the fact that I'm not working right now, but I generally spend my days either at my computer, or out galivanting with my mother and my aunt. Just yesterday, we met my cousin for lunch, did some running around and then five of us went out to dinner. Yes I know, I could have ordered salads, but these places were not exactly conducive to decent salads. One place was a bar (gotta have a bar burger) and the other was this little diner out in the middle of nowheresville. The menu selection was....well... let's just say slim pickings in the healthy food department. Fried, fried, fried.
I hope I get a job soon. I don't know how much more of the going out to lunch and dinner my wallet and waist line can afford. I love spending the time with my family though. We're a good group of people.
My sister called and asked me to be her diet buddy. I am going to get online and check out the Dr. Oz/Weight Watchers thing and see how that works. Dr. Oz had on his show a few weeks ago, a way to boost your metabolism. The video is for Raspberry Ketones. http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/miracle-fat-burner-bottle. Since Dr. Oz had them on his show, they are very hard to find. Most places have them on back order or don't know when they will get them in again. However, Mom and I found some yesterday at a local store and we are both going to try them. In the above video, Dr Oz demonstrates how the Ketones are supposed to help shrink your fat cells and boost your metabolism. Pretty cool demonstration. They are all natural, so there should be no side effects. Here's hoping.
Well this girl has lots to do today and needs to get at it. First up, a second cup of coffee.
Toodles,
Leslie
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Day Three....
Yesterday was a tad hellish on the diet. Taco Bell (Chicken Burrito Fresco and a frozen strawberry fruit drink) for lunch and a Fat Boys Burger (with Fries and a Dr Pepper) for dinner. Yes, I know I could have skipped the fries and had water, but who wants water with a burger?! Today is not going to be easy either. We take my mom to the Dr in Bryan and will have to take her for lunch afterwards as she can not eat right before her appointment. Salad anyone? At least we'll do some mall walking to walk it off.
Toodles Everyone, I've got to get to gettin'.
Leslie
Toodles Everyone, I've got to get to gettin'.
Leslie
Monday, February 13, 2012
Day Two - UPDATE.
Well, Mom and I are both still alive! We haven't killed each other yet. Also, I tracked my food today (well most of it). I have gotta get the water in me. If I were to take half my weight and drink that in ounces.... (or as my sister Shannon says "Drink Niagara Falls") I'll be up all night peeing. Guess I better start small and work my way up to that one! lol
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Measurements Sunday 2/12/2012
WEIGHT: 262
ARMS: 16"
CHEST: 52.5"
NECK: 17"
THIGHS: 27.5"
WAIST: 48"
HIPS: 54"
ARMS: 16"
CHEST: 52.5"
NECK: 17"
THIGHS: 27.5"
WAIST: 48"
HIPS: 54"
Time For A Change
Hello again, It's been a while. Goals are a great thing, but if you're not willing to make the change, goals don't mean a damn thing. I guess I wasn't really ready the last time. Not sure if I am now. I hope I am.
Life has taken some exciting, scary, and crazy twists and turns. I lost my job at the beginning of January, sold my house that same day. Packed up and moved from Michigan to Texas, where I am now living with my Mom. I decided that while I was going through all of the chaos and stress of moving, I just couldn't add dieting to the mix. I ate as I pleased. The only good news is that I was so busy and moving so much, I don't think I gained all that much weight. Even with all of the going away lunches and dinners with my friends, most of the weight gain was prior to January.
I am now up to 262 pounds. Clothes don't fit. My feet and ankles are swollen ALL the time. BP check anyone?! Tying my shoes and going to the bathroom have become a challenge. (My arms are only so long...)
My Mom and I are going to try to do this together. Please pray for us. Pray that two food depraved women, living together, don't kill each other!! I know it's always better when you have someone to take the journey with. Not always easier, but it does helps to have the support. Mom wants to lose around 40 pounds and after my last weigh-in, I need to lose at least 80 pounds.
Gonna have Mom take my measurements today, do my best to track my food and exercise, and get moving. After all, I haven't failed until I stop trying.
God's Infinite Blessings,
Leslie
Life has taken some exciting, scary, and crazy twists and turns. I lost my job at the beginning of January, sold my house that same day. Packed up and moved from Michigan to Texas, where I am now living with my Mom. I decided that while I was going through all of the chaos and stress of moving, I just couldn't add dieting to the mix. I ate as I pleased. The only good news is that I was so busy and moving so much, I don't think I gained all that much weight. Even with all of the going away lunches and dinners with my friends, most of the weight gain was prior to January.
I am now up to 262 pounds. Clothes don't fit. My feet and ankles are swollen ALL the time. BP check anyone?! Tying my shoes and going to the bathroom have become a challenge. (My arms are only so long...)
My Mom and I are going to try to do this together. Please pray for us. Pray that two food depraved women, living together, don't kill each other!! I know it's always better when you have someone to take the journey with. Not always easier, but it does helps to have the support. Mom wants to lose around 40 pounds and after my last weigh-in, I need to lose at least 80 pounds.
Gonna have Mom take my measurements today, do my best to track my food and exercise, and get moving. After all, I haven't failed until I stop trying.
God's Infinite Blessings,
Leslie
Monday, September 5, 2011
A Quick Note... and Maybe a Goal or Two.
Last Friday morning I stepped on the scale about 50 times. Amongst all of the numbers it came up with (292, 213), 239 was the most consistent number. So that is what I went with. This morning I changed the battery on the scale. My new number and probably the correct number is 244. OUCH! I'm gonna go put the old battery back in!
Goals...
1. Kick coffee and creamer to the curb once and for all. I can't stand black coffee, so it has to go too. And fat free creamer is just plain nasty.
2. Pop has got to go too!
3. HFCS and processed foods - you're outta here....
4. Juicing in my juicer.
5. Water Water Water!!!
These goals are not new. Just a reminder.
Goals...
1. Kick coffee and creamer to the curb once and for all. I can't stand black coffee, so it has to go too. And fat free creamer is just plain nasty.
2. Pop has got to go too!
3. HFCS and processed foods - you're outta here....
4. Juicing in my juicer.
5. Water Water Water!!!
These goals are not new. Just a reminder.
Friday, September 2, 2011
A Pity Party for One.
I have no words, only shame. This is what greeted me this morning when I stepped on the scale after several months of eating and drinking whatever I could get my hands on. I truly don't know WHY I do this to myself. I am so uncomfortable in my clothes. I have always been uncomfortable in my own skin.
I do so well, lose 20 pounds and then lose focus. I celebrate my 20 pound loss with food, pop (or soda if you prefer), chocolate, cake, candy, ice cream. I stop exercising. I end up feeling like crap. I look like crap. My skin is terrible. My outlook is horrendous, a part of me just doesn't care. I want to eat what I want to eat when I want to eat it.
How BIG do I have to get, before I take my weight loss, my health seriously? 250? 300? I look at pictures of people who have lost 90. 100, 150 pounds and think WOW! HOW did they do THAT!! Lots of hard work and determination. Something I apparently am allergic to when it comes to weight loss.
So once again I will pull myself up by my bootstraps, put on my now "REALLY BIG" big girl panties, and get at it once again. It's time for the pity party to end.
My promise to myself... Today, I will do better than yesterday. Tomorrow I will do better than today. I have too. No ifs, ands, or BUTTS!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
A New Challange
Well, a couple challenges actually.
First of all I joined a challange on MFP yesterday. It is a 12 week challange and I HOPE to lose 20 pounds by the end of it. There are mini goals throughout. My tracker is below. I think 7 pounds a month is attainable, even realistic. The problem is with motivation and keeping myself moving forward. I am easily sidetracked by sugary goodness in any form.
Current Weight (As of today): 229
Challenge Goal Weight (for Sept. 1st): 209
Weight Category: REDUCE
6/9: **start of challenge** 229
6/16:
6/23:
6/30:
7/7: <<>>
7/14:
7/21:
7/28:
8/4: <<>>
8/11:
8/18:
8/25:
9/1: <<>>
Second challange is to myself. I have got to, I repeat I HAVE GOT TO, give up coffee creamer and pop. They are nothing but wasted calories and added inches. I just wish they weren't so delicious. Hmmmph!
Third, new head space. I need to do some soul searching and ask myself the tough questions. I feel like a broken record.
Q: Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
A: I have no idea. I hate how I look and feel 99% of the time. My face is HUGE. My clothes make me feel like sausage in a tight casing. Not good. I skipped church today because none of my clothes fit and I'm embarrased of how I look. I was doing so well and I just gave up. I feel ashamed.
Q: What am I scared of?
A: Nothing. Everything. I'm not afraid to be alone, but I fear being lonely. I fear intimacy. I fear getting hurt. I fear losing the weight, gaining someone's attention, and then losing it and getting my heart crushed.
Q: Do I want to die early from obesity? Or one of the many side effects of obesity, such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer...???
A: No, No, No, & No. While there is no direct family history of diabetes in my family, I do not want to be the first! There is heart disease and cancer.
Q: Will I ever figure out all of the answers to the questions?
A: Probably not!
So what to do next. I pick myself up ONCE again and start moving forward. One foot in front of the other. The only reason to look back is to try and figure out more answers to the questions above and WHY it is that I keep going back (besides comfort and laziness) and maybe finally break this vicious circle.
First of all I joined a challange on MFP yesterday. It is a 12 week challange and I HOPE to lose 20 pounds by the end of it. There are mini goals throughout. My tracker is below. I think 7 pounds a month is attainable, even realistic. The problem is with motivation and keeping myself moving forward. I am easily sidetracked by sugary goodness in any form.
Current Weight (As of today): 229
Challenge Goal Weight (for Sept. 1st): 209
Weight Category: REDUCE
6/9: **start of challenge** 229
6/16:
6/23:
6/30:
7/7: <<
7/14:
7/21:
7/28:
8/4: <<
8/11:
8/18:
8/25:
9/1: <<
Second challange is to myself. I have got to, I repeat I HAVE GOT TO, give up coffee creamer and pop. They are nothing but wasted calories and added inches. I just wish they weren't so delicious. Hmmmph!
Third, new head space. I need to do some soul searching and ask myself the tough questions. I feel like a broken record.
Q: Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
A: I have no idea. I hate how I look and feel 99% of the time. My face is HUGE. My clothes make me feel like sausage in a tight casing. Not good. I skipped church today because none of my clothes fit and I'm embarrased of how I look. I was doing so well and I just gave up. I feel ashamed.
Q: What am I scared of?
A: Nothing. Everything. I'm not afraid to be alone, but I fear being lonely. I fear intimacy. I fear getting hurt. I fear losing the weight, gaining someone's attention, and then losing it and getting my heart crushed.
Q: Do I want to die early from obesity? Or one of the many side effects of obesity, such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer...???
A: No, No, No, & No. While there is no direct family history of diabetes in my family, I do not want to be the first! There is heart disease and cancer.
Q: Will I ever figure out all of the answers to the questions?
A: Probably not!
So what to do next. I pick myself up ONCE again and start moving forward. One foot in front of the other. The only reason to look back is to try and figure out more answers to the questions above and WHY it is that I keep going back (besides comfort and laziness) and maybe finally break this vicious circle.
Comfort zones are plush lined coffins. When you stay in your plush lined coffins, you die. Stan Dale
I feel uncomfortable because I'm insecure about who I am. Trent Reznor
I had always wanted to write a song called, The Vicious Circle. I always thought it was like, the kids are born there, they grow up there, they die there. Mac Davis*Quotes are from Brainy Quote.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The Ugly Truth...
Ever since the competition at work ended I have struggled to stay motivated and that lack of motivation (aka SHEER LAZINESS) has caused me to gain back about half of the 17 pounds I had lost. I can blame it on depression, stress over finances, stress in general...whatever. Whatever you call it, they are excuses.
THE UGLY TRUTH: I am a lazy person. I love the comfort found on my couch, in front of my TV/computer, or in a book. To get up and go outside and work in the yard or take a walk... to do something, anything that burns calories, requires motivation and energy. Something I haven't had in quite a while.
Ugly Truth #2. I am addicted to food. Sugar, chocolate, pop, simple carbs, starches. The worse it is for me the more I love it. The SIMPLE truth is, is that if I were to give these up alot of my issues would clear up. Sugar is a depressant, so is caffeine. Simple carbs are found in your pastas and refined foods which help bulk you up. They are hard on your digestion. HFCS anyone?!?!
What I need to remember is that in order to build up motivation and energy, I need to eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, and take my vitamins. These all help to build on one another. The more I exercise, the better I feel. The better I feel, the better I want to eat...and vice versa. Exercise, rest, and a healthy diet also help fight off depression and lower stress levels. And while I'm being honest with myself, I need to journal. If I don't keep track of what I eat, I go all willy nilly and eat a whole bag of M&M's. I absolutely hate journalling! It's torture.
THE UGLY TRUTH: I am a lazy person. I love the comfort found on my couch, in front of my TV/computer, or in a book. To get up and go outside and work in the yard or take a walk... to do something, anything that burns calories, requires motivation and energy. Something I haven't had in quite a while.
Ugly Truth #2. I am addicted to food. Sugar, chocolate, pop, simple carbs, starches. The worse it is for me the more I love it. The SIMPLE truth is, is that if I were to give these up alot of my issues would clear up. Sugar is a depressant, so is caffeine. Simple carbs are found in your pastas and refined foods which help bulk you up. They are hard on your digestion. HFCS anyone?!?!
What I need to remember is that in order to build up motivation and energy, I need to eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, and take my vitamins. These all help to build on one another. The more I exercise, the better I feel. The better I feel, the better I want to eat...and vice versa. Exercise, rest, and a healthy diet also help fight off depression and lower stress levels. And while I'm being honest with myself, I need to journal. If I don't keep track of what I eat, I go all willy nilly and eat a whole bag of M&M's. I absolutely hate journalling! It's torture.
GOD GRANT ME
The COURAGE to make the changes I need to make,
The STRENGTH I need to persevere,
And the WISDOM to make the right decisions.
AMEN.
Remember ~ CHANGE REQUIRES RISK!!!
Lets face it, no one ever got fat from eating steamed broccoli. Gassy and bloated maybe, but not fat.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My oh my! What a pig sty!
This past week I was cleaning out the pig sty I call my study and I ran across a booklet sent to me when I was diagnosed with depression in 2007. (I never did like filing!)
I was treated for depression with medication and I did quite well. I never really felt like I had a strong case of depression, I never wanted to hurt myself, but I do tend to be antisocial. I'm not unfriendly, I'm just a loner type who likes my peace and quiet AND my space. Occasionally (when my depression was at it's worst and when I was over-tired) I would feel like the world would be better without me in it, but I would NEVER EVER think of hurting myself. Thank God I have Christ in my life because with Christ there is ALWAYS hope. On the meds, I was much more social and was able to chase the blues away easier. I stopped taking the meds in 2009 when my boss changed our health insurance as I could no longer afford the medication and the multiple trips to the doctor for monitoring. I do well most of the time.
As I was reading the booklet, It listed out the different types of depression and their symptoms. There are several types of depression, ranging from Major Depression to a mild form called SAD. Major depression symptoms include deep sadness, apathy, agitation/restlessness, sleep disturbances, WEIGHT/appetite disturbances, lack of concentration, feelings of excessive guilt, morbid thoughts, and fatigue. There is bi-polar/manic depression, Dysthemia, and SAD. SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. After reading the booklet, I am 10,000% convinced I suffer from SAD. (A large number of people in the Northern states do.) The booklet states that people with SAD usually
I always seem to get (for lack of a better word) sad in the fall/winter time and usually snap out of it in the Spring. I have always attributed this to the fact that my parents left to hit the road in the fall, I wouldn't see them again until Christmas time and then they would come back to Michigan in the spring. They lived in an RV full time and would travel around the country visiting new and exciting places and making the rounds to see my siblings and their children/grandchildren. Michigan winters were just too harsh on them so they were off to warmer climates. Lucky ducks!
I pulled out another book I bought on depression. It's called Depression: The Way Out. It's written by Dr. Neal Nedley. I've made it through chapter one. He's a doctor and writes like a doctor. Lots of big medical words. He talks about how lifestyle choices affect your brain and how the brain functions. He talks a little bit about SAD and recommends Bright Light Therapy. BLT helps put the bodies circadian rhythm back in sync, which helps with sleep and mood. Outdoor light/air is best of course, but BLT can help chase away the winter blues. I know for me, when the sun is shining my face is smiling. I feel uplifted. One other thing I noticed is that during the spring and summer, when its bright and cheery out, my cravings tend more toward fruit and veggies.
I guess I have alot of reading to do. I think I will take Dr. Nedley's book to bed with me. That should knock me out cold in no time flat; if not from the reading material, then from the weight of the book! All joking aside, IF depression is what is keeping me from staying motivated/focused, I need to figure out how to fight the depression without the use of medication and then MAYBE just maybe I will be able to shed this unwanted weight for good. I also think a move out of this GREY sky state will help. Anyone wanna buy my house???
Toodles,
Leslie
I was treated for depression with medication and I did quite well. I never really felt like I had a strong case of depression, I never wanted to hurt myself, but I do tend to be antisocial. I'm not unfriendly, I'm just a loner type who likes my peace and quiet AND my space. Occasionally (when my depression was at it's worst and when I was over-tired) I would feel like the world would be better without me in it, but I would NEVER EVER think of hurting myself. Thank God I have Christ in my life because with Christ there is ALWAYS hope. On the meds, I was much more social and was able to chase the blues away easier. I stopped taking the meds in 2009 when my boss changed our health insurance as I could no longer afford the medication and the multiple trips to the doctor for monitoring. I do well most of the time.
As I was reading the booklet, It listed out the different types of depression and their symptoms. There are several types of depression, ranging from Major Depression to a mild form called SAD. Major depression symptoms include deep sadness, apathy, agitation/restlessness, sleep disturbances, WEIGHT/appetite disturbances, lack of concentration, feelings of excessive guilt, morbid thoughts, and fatigue. There is bi-polar/manic depression, Dysthemia, and SAD. SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. After reading the booklet, I am 10,000% convinced I suffer from SAD. (A large number of people in the Northern states do.) The booklet states that people with SAD usually
- feel low or depressed
- have an increased appetite (particularly for carbohydrates)
- gain weight
- sleep alot more, but still feel very tired
I always seem to get (for lack of a better word) sad in the fall/winter time and usually snap out of it in the Spring. I have always attributed this to the fact that my parents left to hit the road in the fall, I wouldn't see them again until Christmas time and then they would come back to Michigan in the spring. They lived in an RV full time and would travel around the country visiting new and exciting places and making the rounds to see my siblings and their children/grandchildren. Michigan winters were just too harsh on them so they were off to warmer climates. Lucky ducks!
I pulled out another book I bought on depression. It's called Depression: The Way Out. It's written by Dr. Neal Nedley. I've made it through chapter one. He's a doctor and writes like a doctor. Lots of big medical words. He talks about how lifestyle choices affect your brain and how the brain functions. He talks a little bit about SAD and recommends Bright Light Therapy. BLT helps put the bodies circadian rhythm back in sync, which helps with sleep and mood. Outdoor light/air is best of course, but BLT can help chase away the winter blues. I know for me, when the sun is shining my face is smiling. I feel uplifted. One other thing I noticed is that during the spring and summer, when its bright and cheery out, my cravings tend more toward fruit and veggies.
I guess I have alot of reading to do. I think I will take Dr. Nedley's book to bed with me. That should knock me out cold in no time flat; if not from the reading material, then from the weight of the book! All joking aside, IF depression is what is keeping me from staying motivated/focused, I need to figure out how to fight the depression without the use of medication and then MAYBE just maybe I will be able to shed this unwanted weight for good. I also think a move out of this GREY sky state will help. Anyone wanna buy my house???
Toodles,
Leslie
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